I woke up Wednesday morning with a distinct sense of urgency. I would be turning 35 the next day. For the last 6 weeks or so I have kept a cagey eye on 35, not wanting to give it the satisfaction of catching me looking. I lay in bed pondering the idea that I could be drafted as point guard for the Lakers now, and during my first interview I would face the press and they would begin their questions-
When are you going to buy a house?
Are you seeing anyone?
do you want to have kids someday?
That's right. I can feel the pressure ratcheting up. What was "free-spirited and adventurous" at 23 becomes "unmotivated" at 28, becomes "unfortunate" at 30, becomes "weird" at 35.
I've always been stubborn and averse to good, sensible advice from people who care about me (What are they up to? Who sent them? What do they really want?) and I can't say that particular trait has served me well. On the other hand I'm also know for last-minute comeback heroics. When I was a baby my mom tells me they had just about given up on having a child who would learn to walk. I didn't even bother crawling. My preferred method of travel was scooting backwards propelled by a jackknifing left leg across the terrazo floors. One day, as my parents watched their retarded, or maybe just lazy son move backwards on his ass through life, I just stood up and walked across the room to them. That's still my style. When the time is right I will buy the shit out of that house. I will marry the hell out of some woman, and we will raise the crap out of some kids. I hope the house is woodsy, the woman is latina, and the kids can learn to walk, one way or another.
I forgot to tell you about my life-affirming, not dead yet, solo ride to Munson. The drivetrain, oh it tried me, but I think we're starting to get along now. More on that later.
6 comments:
Juancho,
What do you make of the fact that folks of unlimited financial power and fame rarely walk the traditional domestic path you describe as your destiny? Even when the stars marry, they rarely stay married for long, and their children are born into a host of different parental configurations and seem to do fine.
You finally chose walking over scooting because it dawned on you that you could get a lot more locomotion (and point-of-view) for your effort. This dawned on you because you saw lots of folks walking around and it seemed to be working for them.
What if you'd noticed that most of the walkers got fat and burdened with the hassles of walking, half of them ended up scooting again after a few years anyway, and now they had little scooters shuffling around between them on visitation schedules?
What might you have made of walking then?
hmm, I'll have to think about that one S'quatch, are you charging by the hour or is this one on the house?
It's all free for you, baby... Don't be professionalizin (and therefore marginalizing) my blogger shit!
Damn, I'm going to piss off all two or three of my friends with this blog before its all said and done. Back to your question though- Because I come from a childhood of scooting and shuffling on a visitation schedule, I can tell you it kind of sucks. I don't see how it could be an acceptable alternative to say, the fun and healthy dynamic of the Sasquatch compound. It's interesting to me that you are so open and magnanimous to 'alternative' arrangements, but you personally have a traditional, if wacky, configuration.
It's true, the Squatch household is cut of the traditional cloth, with only a smattering of irregular patterning here and there. It's a complicated issue, because like most traditional set-ups, it's traditional for a reason. On the domestic scene, Mom & Dad and kids under one roof seems the most efficient way to go, especially when resources are limited, as they are in 98% of households out there.
I think the thing that disappoints me about our situation is that we accepted the debt paradigm that goes along with the traditional route. I personally feel that too many of our daily decisions are based on our debt, which isn't even that large as middle class debts go. I wonder how we may have fared if we had made early decisions based on shunning debt for all we were worth.
All I'm saying is it may be worth thinking about all the factors that may be keeping you from hurtling down the domestic chute. It could be you won't stand up and walk domestically until you see a way to do it without sacrificing some of the things you hold dear. Of course, some of them would have to go (like total autonomy at all times, among other things too numerous to name here), but others could remain intact (like your penchant for living light and within your means, among other things too numerous to name here).
total autonomy at all times
refusal to accept plans made more than 1 hour in the future without the option to bail.
Being able to read before I go to sleep whether she wants to talk or sleep. Reading will be postponed for sex, but not skipped altogether.
Those are the biggies.
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