Monday, August 28, 2006

Juancho's New Purse, I mean Road Bike!

And there you have it folks, the prophecy is fulfilled. I said not one month ago I would accept a road/touring bike into my stable under the following conditions.

1. It has to be steel.
2. It has to be circa 1985-1995
3. It has to be under $100
4. It has to function, no major surgery required



I though that I was safe. I didn't think it could ever happen. To be honest, I have awful luck. Never won a scratch-off ticket, a flip of a coin, or gotten out of a traffic ticket. At the horsetrack I would be better off feeding my money to a horse, rather than throwing it away at the betting window, and yet- fate mocks me.

Sleeping beneath a tarp at Bighorn and Libbyllama's house in San Diego was a 1986? Fuji Del Rey, previously abandoned at a construction site. I gave it a once over. I sniffed and sneered.

Then I put that bitch in a box and checked it as luggage. Total cost- $0.oo

Now I need to go shopping for some matching pumps.

-Juancho-
gorging at the crow buffet

15 comments:

Fat Lad said...

[inevitable star wars ripoff]
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of MTB-ers suddenly cried out in terror and suddenly puked.
[/inevitable star wars ripoff]

Shame on you Juancho, shame on you!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, owning a road bike is only one step away from shaving my legs, which is only one step away from shaving my nuts!

So if I ever end with a smooth scrotum I'll join on the tarmac!

However, I need to know, what does it ride like?

Fat Lad

hitops said...

Great! Sasquatch and I need a guy with some mechanical know-how and the good sense to bring a reliable spare tube when we ply the paved paradise. Welcome to the paceline. Nair or blade?

juancho said...

It rides like a shetland pony with a braided mane!

juancho said...

HT- I think my wheels are wooden?

Sascha said...

Can't see it very well. You need a bigger picture. Never thought I'd see the day when you got smooth tires. SexAY!

Hitops, not sure if you care, but lots of girls think shaved is way sexy on men, including me.

Sascha said...

Whoops! I guess I was talking to FL there, not Hitops. My dumb bad!

BIGWORM said...

Oh good LAWD! I think all that pink is burning my retinas! It reminds me of the time the shop guys convinced Kingsnake to race in those womens pink lycra shorts, that wouldn't sell. I suppose now you need to find some long travel free ride bike balance your chi. As for shaving, I say shave your arms and eyebrows, leave the legs wooly, run your famous Blue Blockers, and call me up for that ride!

Fat Lad said...

sascha.... shhh.... Mrs Fat Lad might here you..... and I dont want the associated upkeep. shudder stubbly sack in my chamois.... it doesn't bare thinking about ;)

juancho said...

Sascha-The only thing that looks good shaved on a man is his head. Now women? Y'all gotta shave, absolutely.

Double standards served fresh daily!

ccrider de monte cristo said...

There's nothing wrong with owning a road bike- it's riding the damn things that's problematic.

the old bag said...

Isn't the roadie scene based largely on introverted misanthropes engaging in parallel play?

...tryin' to dig through my brain to remember who it was exactly sayin' that....

juancho said...

STOP LOOKING AT MY TOYS OB! PLAY WITH YOUR OWN!

Anonymous said...

Sounds fun and all, but doesn't it hurt your jyna?

Moss man

the old bag said...

:-]

still waitin' on that damned PVMC t-shirt...

juancho said...

Um, I forgot a pencil, what was PVMC again?