Giddyup.

As a cyclist I am used to people mocking our chosen apparel without the slightest understanding that each painted on purple Barney the Dinosaur jersey and $90.00 16 panel chamois shorts that can't even double as a bathing suit are not clothes, but essential gear. The velcro cleats with the distinctly Elvish (or is it Elven?) point to them are designed for snag-free aerodynamic performance- even when you spend most of your time standing around the trailhead.

Still, even though I know the sting of being misunderstood I can not get over the preponderance of cowboy hats here in Tucson. I know that kid at the Starbucks does not clock out and rope doggies on the prairie before supper, or does he? Where I come from the only folks wearing cowboy hats are sorority girls, and they got it from that Kid Rock jackass who also does not, I am quite certain, rope doggie one.

But whatever, I will try to stifle the giggles, it's a culture thing and I make my living tolerating cultures of all kinds, even the intolerant ones. There is probably a good explanation for wearing a cowboy hat for the duration of a 4 hour flight even though that means you can't make use of the 4 square inches of headrest you bought with your $400.00 ticket.

I am curious as to whether or not I could pull it off. I'm built like Hoss Cartwright except maybe a bit shorter and he certainly looks natural in a prairie lid.

I don't think I would wear one with my cycling outfit. Don't call it a kit, oh Lord please do not call it a kit. My skin crawls when you call it that, kits are for model airplanes and such. Cycling clothes are just that, clothes. Once you start saying kit you are one step away from thinking outside the box, the hatbox in this case. Next you will be discussing "the way forward" and telling me how you like to "conversate". All the same I may pick up a legitimate cowboy hat and try to wear it out in public, all natural like.

If I'm going to do that I better know the rules, and you should too.

Here they are

Cowboy Hat Etiquette

Any hat should be removed when eating anywhere, that includes baseball caps!

Any hat should be removed when the national anthem of any country is played. Hold your hat in your right hand, over your heart. This applies to women, unless their hat is held on with hat pins.

Cowboys tip their hats to ladies when out doors, remove them when being introduced, and remove them when entering a ladies home.

Men never tipped their hats to other men in the Old West. It was akin to calling them a woman. A nod was a common greeting when not shaking hands. The Code of the West

In commercial or public buildings it's not necessary to remove your hat - but should be when entering a private office. Generally considered polite to remove it in a private home, unless other people are wearing their hat.

Wearing a {cowboy} hat to a theatre or movie is fine but should be removed if it blocks any one's view of the entertainment.

A dubious list to be sure.

I'm glad I forgot to tell you about Sunday's ride, especially the part where W.B. nonchalantly planted himself deep in the smoky ash of a recently burned forest. That guy is smooth, real smooth.

Juancho