Thursday, September 11, 2008

Last Man Out...



...please turn out the lights.

I could not get on the trail fast enough after one of the strangest work days I have had. Unfortunately, due to the confidential nature of my work I can't share the details of the episode. It probably wouldn't seem like a big deal to you anyway. It might sound like this:


You won't believe this, but after re-setting the flux capacitor in the number seven workbay I found the gol'darned ring cone from number eight work bay sitting right next to the turpentine tap! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha!

As I was saying, I was pretty excited to put on the man-o-tard and crank 'Pac to eleven.

I forgot water so I filled a water bottle with seven and a half ounces of flat Diet Pepsi and a couple swigs of hot Gatorade then up and over the mountain I went. The only way I know to ride Oak Mountain is straight up the fire road and straight down the Blood Rock section. I knew the park was closing at 7:00 and I thought I had plenty of time to get up and down.

I didn't realize the trail puts you down on the other side of the mountain, rather than the side with my rented Champagne Lincoln Town and Country mini-van.

Here's a tip for you. For summertime downhills, put up with the heat and zip your jersey. Getting stung is bad enough when it doesn't begin with a high-speed impact that drives the stingers straight to your rib bone. Happens to me all the time, you think I'd learn. Whatever, to be honest, I kind of like it.

So, when I finally hit Peavine road I was about nine rolling miles from the T&C and it was 7:33 P:M.

A GIGANTIC deer came snarling out of the trees at one time and sideswiped me at 29 mph more or less. Close call.

I followed a truck slowly out of the park. The driver waved me through right before he got out and locked the gate.

And Mystery wasn't even involved.

-Juancho

8 comments:

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Damn I wish I coulda been there with you. Panic makes rides so much better!

juancho said...

so true. it was as close as I come to race conditions.

Anonymous said...

that's quite a high you got from flat diet pepsi and hot gatorade, don't ever use water again!

LoPo said...

You forgot the denouement. Did you just slowly ride back 'round the mountain to your rental car or ??? Just askin'....

sasquatch said...

you drink Diet Pepsi?

nicol said...

You dodged a snarling deer bullet.

hitops said...

Bloodrock ... didn't they do "D.O.A."? That was a cheery tune--"Seasons in the Sun" for headbangers. Wonder if they grew up around Oak Mt.?

juancho said...

The denouement: Assuming I was locked in and would have to ride the 12 miles back to the Holiday Inn Express, I ate a pouch of caffeinated super goo stuff and pounded the pedals like I wanted my kneebones to come poking out of the skin from the force of my cranking. The bull deer attacked right after the goo kicked in so I was pretty much rding for my life at that point. Probably 4.5, maybe 7 mph. 7 Easy.

Diet Pepsi, Diet Grapico, Aloe Vera soda. I mix it up.