Friday, January 23, 2009

Dr. Munson



A therapist friend recently told me I was crazy, and I don't doubt it one bit. If you aren't a little crazy then you just aren't participating in this funhouse maze of a society we have duct taped together. The incident in question involved a glass of ice and its supposed ill-effects on my health. This observation was poorly received by myself. In defense of ice, and cold beverages in general, I demanded evidence and furthermore railed against a culture that finds it acceptable to make passing observations about personal behavior without expectation of resistance. I think I referred to it as a "Drive-by Judging." This type of nonchalant superiority is best typified by the hack artist, Jack Johnson, the self-appointed life coach of the left-leaning, white, recreation class.

It doesn't take much to be labeled crazy anymore so you better watch your asses out there. I contend that cold water is in no way harmful, and if it is, my blue collar digestive system appreciates no such degree of nuance.

In order to get a second opinion I made an appointment with Dr. Munson last night. Dr. Munson was willing to see me at the very end of the day and our session began under a gathering darkness and chill.

We enjoyed a brisk debate in our 43 minute and 22 second session and the esteemed Doctor confirmed that while I indeed may be on the breaking side of slightly bent, it is you people that made me this way.

Juancho

11 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Well, it's trite but J. Buffet said it well- "If weren't all crazy, we would go insane."

WheelDancer said...

"Drive-by judging", the essence of our fast lane, no responsibility society...

RickySilk said...

man i love that jack johnson curious george record.

reverend dick said...

The fact that one feels compelled to ______ or _________, just to feel comfortable dealing with the general public is in no way a reason for condemnation. Those are valid responses to a world gone mad.

The trail is your Life Coach. It will always be there.

sasquatch said...

Crazy like a hammer
Crazy like a fox
Crazy like a shifty mule
Loves to hate a box

Crazy like yo mama
Crazy like yo pops
Crazy, crazy, all day lazy
Loves them special ops

Crazy is as crazy does
Love the Man and loathe the Fuzz
Hate the sinner, love the sin?
Secret Gestapo, lurks within.

Anonymous said...

you have ICE? whoa!

Ample said...

lol! BEST POST YET! Ha! Beautifully composed! Excellently ranted! Damn that was good.

Ample said...

Just saw the unicorn... HA! wholely crap.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Dude I got duct tape and gaff tape AND WIRE TIES!!!!!
Got yo ass covered!
Ice indeed, does he know who is pokin with a stick?

Anonymous said...

Your unicorn is giving me nightmares. Make him go away.

Juancho said...

He will be all right. Too much rainbow juice.