Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Decoy

After 6 years I think I have learned something.

Whenever I write about a ride the night before, and especially when I proclaim that I will "recite some verse to them tomorrow" my ride mates seem to show up a little more motivated than they might otherwise. There might be some stretching, some sneaking of early GU packs and maybe even some blood doping going on in the back of a pickup truck.

I think those guys might be reading this blog and holding me accountable for the words I choose. They do not consider literary largesse, or the crushing pressure to deliver a good story to the reader. No, they think I am actually taking smack about them personally and specifically. Ha! Ha ha! Nothing could be less true.

I'm not sure what to do about this. I need these guys to show up for rides hungover and sluggish, eager to talk about baby's sore tooth and the jackass at work. I do not need them focused on bikes or performance or who is faster than who. I don't believe in any of that stuff, I'm just making a little mirth while the sun still shines on us all. So here is an example of the new pre-ride BRC post ethos.

Tomorrow I will ride with most powerful rider Mystery and elegant steerer of bicycle Leon. I also expect the Dogboy with whom I will ride in humblest gratitude and appreciation. I have not slept nor eaten in preparation for this ride for to be the slowest and most aching of all of the riders. I hope to continue to receive the blessings of companionship from these strongest of mighty men.

(Lull 'em into a state of complacency- then right between the eyes with the cast iron skillet! WHACK!)



nicol said...

Nice, new bright n' shiny blog over here!

They're probably going to check your jersey pocket first now for the skillet. Shhhhhhh. :)

Juancho said...

Thanks! In the spirit of Wikileaks and open source technology I am adding links to all of my favorite site and blog friends. I'm also going to monetize this b*tch and sell out for whatever I can. Bring on the NWO!

Magnum said...

That just set my ride desire level back 3 weeks.
Damn! has it been a year already?

Juancho said...

That reminds me. I need to add the Waterwings to my list.