Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Decoy



After 6 years I think I have learned something.

Whenever I write about a ride the night before, and especially when I proclaim that I will "recite some verse to them tomorrow" my ride mates seem to show up a little more motivated than they might otherwise. There might be some stretching, some sneaking of early GU packs and maybe even some blood doping going on in the back of a pickup truck.

I think those guys might be reading this blog and holding me accountable for the words I choose. They do not consider literary largesse, or the crushing pressure to deliver a good story to the reader. No, they think I am actually taking smack about them personally and specifically. Ha! Ha ha! Nothing could be less true.

I'm not sure what to do about this. I need these guys to show up for rides hungover and sluggish, eager to talk about baby's sore tooth and the jackass at work. I do not need them focused on bikes or performance or who is faster than who. I don't believe in any of that stuff, I'm just making a little mirth while the sun still shines on us all. So here is an example of the new pre-ride BRC post ethos.

Tomorrow I will ride with most powerful rider Mystery and elegant steerer of bicycle Leon. I also expect the Dogboy with whom I will ride in humblest gratitude and appreciation. I have not slept nor eaten in preparation for this ride for to be the slowest and most aching of all of the riders. I hope to continue to receive the blessings of companionship from these strongest of mighty men.

(Lull 'em into a state of complacency- then right between the eyes with the cast iron skillet! WHACK!)

jUANCHO

4 comments:

nicol said...

Nice, new bright n' shiny blog over here!

They're probably going to check your jersey pocket first now for the skillet. Shhhhhhh. :)

Juancho said...

Thanks! In the spirit of Wikileaks and open source technology I am adding links to all of my favorite site and blog friends. I'm also going to monetize this b*tch and sell out for whatever I can. Bring on the NWO!

Magnum said...

That just set my ride desire level back 3 weeks.
Damn! has it been a year already?

Juancho said...

That reminds me. I need to add the Waterwings to my list.