Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Wrecking Ball



What a sandbagger. The biggest sandbagger in the history of sandbagging. The biggest sandbagger in the history of both sand and bags. The earliest Neanderthal man who accidentally kicked some sand into the first ever bag made from the stomach of a woolly rhino was a descendant of our friend, the Human Wrecking Ball. When Katrina flooded the Ninth Ward they should have called him because he could have bagged enough sand to dam the Mississippi river. Tell me I'm lying, I dare you.

Other than that little piece of information I enjoyed a brisk ride with the Bikechain Posse and some other cast-about stragglers like myself. Those Bikechain jerk-offs, they are really good guys if you get to know them.

Big Jim Slade was there shining his buckle. Big Worm crawled out of his sick bay to be there. Mingo and Mingo Jr even joined us on our once beloved Munson. Now you have to buy a day pass and get a ticket punched before riding the monorail to the trailhead and enjoying the MUNSON EXPERIENCE JAMBOREE tm. Sure it's fast, but that doesn't make it right.

Anyway, there ain't no flavor left in that bone so I need to stop worrying on it. The point of the story is that The Wrecking Ball is back. Finally and thankfully, he is back.

Juancho

8 comments:

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I laughed very hard at this really I did. I now remember what I used to know: RIDING BIKES FIXES WHAT ALES YA!
Call me a liar!

Ms. Moon said...

But does he still call everyone bastards? If not, it's an impostor. Nah, really, this is good news.

nicol said...

I am happy for you, HWB.

And now I have this mental image of Big Jim with cycling gear, and a big shiny star shaped belt buckle reflecting off things, while blinding other cyclists. :)

BIGWORM said...

That ride was too much fun! I was stoked to be riding, after only a week off. The whole time I kept telling myself, if I feel this good, Wrecking Ball must be about to bust his chamois!

Nicol, you're right on the money. BJS and I never turned on our lights. His giant belt buckle simply captured all ambient light, and reflected it down the trail.

That was my first real ride with Juancho 2.0. Wow! I need to get on the 7 grains of rice, 2 leaves of kale diet.

BIG JIM said...

If you like the buckle you'll really like my spurs.

That was a fun ride. Perhaps Juancho can put us onto his diet plan. Of course this will mean giving up all foods that I love (breads, pastas, sugars)

juancho said...

That's right. Nothing but air, distilled water, and a small amount of uncooked brown rice. Who knew being fast was that easy.

Kent said...

Fast is fun. A great time had by all. Let's do it again!

hitops said...

What ails me is Gov. Skeletor. Maybe I'll mount up and hit the happiness pipe. So Munson is OK in dry weather now?