Wednesday, April 20, 2011

On Your Left


If you show up for the Munson Monday rides you are familiar with the jostle of falling into the group at the right pace. If you jump in too early you can quickly find yourself in cardiac distress. Fall into line too late and you may end up walking your bike behind the beginners who want nothing more than for you to pass them so they can get back to crunching gears and squeezing brakes. The cycling community to this point has offered only the dull “A Group” and “B Group” classifications. This represents the people who are going to drop you and the dropped. The pace a rider is able to maintain is only one of many considerations for labeling a ride. That is why I use the following classification system to find the ride and partners most suited to my mood and abilities.

•Nature Lover- No concept of speed as an element of mountain biking. Compatible with “toe baskets” and hiking boots.

•The Hangover- Same speed as the Nature Lover but with moaning and spitting.

•Demon Chaser-Might be a fast ride, might be a slow ride. It doesn’t matter as long as you are suffering as much as possible.

•Weekender- Fast enough to brag about, short enough to have energy to mow the lawn.

•Juiced- Weekender pace enhanced by OTC products such as 5 Hour Energy, Clif Blocks, & Gu packs.

•Spintastic- Fast enough to think, “Hey, I’m going pretty fast here.”

•Pranic- So fast you don’t move through the trail, the trail moves through you. Effortless and connected to all things.

Happy Trails,

Juancho

4 comments:

BIGWORM said...

Awesome!

Magnum said...

I'm not sure in which order, ascending or descending, that list purports. It is obvious that the Nature Lover and Pranic are connected at a higher level and the others are just riding bikes.

Juancho said...

That is the truth right there.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Love it?