Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Meat Sweat



Tommy (not his real name) stopped by today and was telling me all about his woman across town and his woman out of town. These would be Steak-and-Shake on Capital Circle and Wendy's in Valdosta respectively. Living in a primarily vegetarian household he doesn't eat a lot of flesh on a regular basis, especially not beef. Now, after many years of getting his meat on the side, he says that he actually begins to perspire while eating it, as though his body is increasing its metabolism just to process the huge caloric load associated with a Royale Steakburger and fries. Have you ever heard of this? Do you get the meat sweats? Does eating meat make you sweat? Is it possible that he is actually exhibiting some kind of meat lust instead? I hope we can have a mature and safe dialogue about beef-related perspiration.

On other matters- Some fool on the internet was trying to say that cycling burns more calories than any other exercise and I'm saying that it is 100% grade A bullshit. I have taken pride for many years in my ability to ride dozens of miles while expending more energy complaining about the ride than actually pedaling my bike. Even if putting forth an honest effort, going all out, you are still enjoying the benefits of a weight supporting apparatus, coasting, and mechanical advantages such as 24 gears and sealed bearings. I submit that cycling falls far short of such activities as running, racquetball, or picking tomatoes (commercially.) I tell you, the internet is full of crazies, you have to watch it out there. I will be glad when the internet runs its course and we can go back to getting our information the right way- from Encyclopedias, grandparents, and watching television after midnight.

And another thing, this repetitive use injury? I'm not enjoying it at all. Not being able to ride my bike for significant portions of every day, or prepare or recover from doing so, exposes some big weaknesses in my overall life strategy. I need to diversify. You take the bike away and all I've got is a job, a cat, and some friends. That doesn't make me a pauper by any means, but it is going to get real boring in the later years if I don't change my ways. I need to get serious about recruiting a Juanchette around here, or maybe start doing crossword puzzles.

meat sweats?

Juancho

5 comments:

Buzz said...

YES! Meat thoughts make me sweat! I'm quivering now visualizing a sizzling piece of rib eye( do you have that back there?) on the barbie.....drooling!

A job, a cat and some friends.That's it? @#$K!

A dire and dark future awaits you Jauncho

Put a smile on your face and a song in your heart and go to the laundromat now!

Juancho said...

The laundromat, that's old school Buzz, and of course we have ribeyes. Where do you think we live, Oregon?

I'll save you a spot on my park bench in our golden years.

reverend dick said...

I'm going to 1st off accuse you of yellow meat sensationalism of the lowest sort. So, there is that.

Then, his symptoms sound like some drug-type cravings to me. The meat hooks are in deep with that guy.

Has he gone into detail about the associated smell, and how if applicable, it differs from his "regular" sweats?

Finally, the bike is the only benign habit. She is a demanding mistress and you would not be happy with anything less. I'd say this is preaching to the choir, but in here it's more of a chorus.

Juancho said...

Finally, my spiritual adviser shows up, and course you are completely right. The bike, she is a cruel lover, and demanding. And my friend? He would stab you with a spare rib before he would give it up.

Magnum said...

I carry my bike through the woods one lap for every two I ride it through the woods to resolve any "repetitive use" issues. And it makes my meat sweat.