Wednesday, August 03, 2011


Happy Birthday Lopo!

It will be 100 degrees by 2:00 P:M today with a suck factor of 107-110 projected by 5:00 O'clock. Ladies and gentleman, I bring you AUGUST. I have been thinking about what to do in August since last September, when I first lurched my XL frame off of the opium couch and decided to choose life over broken-ness, Vicodin and Wife Swap. You must have a plan for August I thought. I hoped to be in San Diego, riding my bike along the western edge of this grand experiment, learning to surf at Tourmaline and playing pirates with my nephew. This was not in the Great Magnet's plan.

The BikeChain crew, whom I will soon join in the black and the orange, rode last night in the stifling confines of the north-side hardwood trails. Early reports from the wounded are that Big Worm roared a mighty roar and savaged the rest of the pride. I was safely in savasana by then after a spirited round of golf. I shot a 57 on 9 and enjoyed every chunker and topper along the way. You must have a plan for August. The bugs are so intense right now that the ticks are complaining about the dog dick gnats and the mosquitoes have to walk everywhere because they are so bloated on on sweet cyclist blood- enriched by Zone 5 cookies and cold beers, that they can't lift themselves from the ground.

You make different choices and different things happen.

I am going to do more rock climbing at the Tallahassee Rock Gym. I'm going to hurl disc golf at Tom Brown Park. I'm going to paddle, swim, and rope swing my way around the Big Bend. I'm going to break 50 at the Jacques Gauthier Golf and Social Club. I'm going to ride my bike early in the morning and late at night. I am going to drop 10 lbs and read The Pale King.

I have no idea what to do about September.



hitops said...

Check out the hyperlinks! I'm impressed but will continue to savor your postings as stand-alone literary nuggets and resist the lure of rabbit trails to other corners of the 'net.

BIGWORM said...

We'll deal with September when it gets here. Right now, August takes all my focus. Last night, the heat and humidity were in the rare form that only the arm pit of Florida, and maybe the rain forests of Indochina, can produce.

I want in on the paddling, and perhaps the rope swinging.

Mungam's marketing manager said...

1. I found a hippie bug repellant that works very well.
2. 10 lbs? me too
3. there may be surf yet
4. August at TRG is... oh, ugh, I just heat-stroked.
And finally,
5. Tarazan Tour 2011 is on!

Ms. Moon said...

Happy birthday to your mama!
Good plan for August. Good post, as always. I especially liked the part about the ticks complaining about the dog dick gnats. GREAT LINE!

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I would like to paddle please. Boats or boards.

lopo said...

August is a month to float through with books, cold beer, and a/c.