Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Great Peacemakers of Our Time

The following is just one example of the visionary leadership we enjoy in Tallahassee. This appeared in response to a variety of disgruntled missives concerning the legality of cyclocross bikes competing against MTbikes in "The Slap".

Fellow mountain bike riders - it is rumored that i am being a bit ofputz with regard to my insistance that only mountain bikes be allowedto race at the mountain bike race i put on every thursday evening over in crack town.
okay okay - perhaps i am being a bit too harsh with ALL my rules and regulations....

that said, i concede the following:cross bike riders who wish to ride with mtb riders may do so, but only under the following conditions:
all aforementioned competitors must wear speedo swim trunks and carrya sand-filled back pack weighing precisely 2 stone.that is, unless, where it does state in article 5, subsection 31,paragraph 3 of the bylaws - that any xcross rider wishing to ride with the mtb bikes in the points race MAY compete on equal terms IF that person can recite at least one stanza of any love poem written by the russian author, who's daughter inspired another russian author to write perhaps one of the greatest romance novels ever written.name either of the authors in question and you can wear normalshorts. recite an entire poem by this author and i'll wash your car.

If that isn't fair than I can't help you. Thanks for the clarity boss.



BIGWORM said...

One of the coolest things about your whole gig, Scotty, is the free for all nature of the whole thing! I think it's cool to see all the different crews show up, not knowing how the whole race layout is going to pan out, or even what the rules will be once it starts. As for bike legality, with mountain bikes running road cranks, cross bikes diguised as 29ers, and then single speeds throwing down at the front, I don't really know what advantage a cross bike would have, other than in a dead sprint, maybe. I'm definitely not going against your original ruling, though. Hell, require the same thing if somebody has blue pinstripes. My point is, keep it Scottified, and avoid the routine. Only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of the hole!

juancho said...

Damn Bigworm, that's deep.