Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Well and Good




Dear Ass,

Prepare to be hauled-

Love, Juancho

I'm not saying it is going to be at any particular person's expense, or on any specific given day. I'm just saying that I am due for that breakout ride of the season. It probably will not happen in the course of a normal ride where, for instance, I bunny hop seven yards of brush and smilac to come around Mystery and race for the trail head at Cadillac. It could be that, but I think it is more likely that we will be miles and miles from home when confronted by some great emergency, like a small child trapped in a well, and everyone will say, "I'm just too tired to go get help. I couldn't possibly make it. The child will simply have to remain in that well until I have eaten a Gu."

I, however, can possibly make it and I will make it. I will save the little girl in the well!

The ride that follows will be legendary. I will receive the key to to the city of Miccosukee.

So that is one of my goals for the Summer, to save a well-trapped toddler with a heroic ride for help. What are you going to do this Summer? Lay around watching re-reruns of Ultraman?

As my mother used to say, "Turn that thing off and get outside!"

-Juancho

10 comments:

BIG JIM said...

Would you settle for rescuing a middle aged mountain biker prone to spectacular crashes?

Juancho said...

I might have to tie a line on and drag you to safety.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Normally I would take great fun in rebuking all your claims, but I have to say you have the hundred yard stare, and that look Rambo had (1st Blood)when he realized he would HAVE to fight. I predict a top ten finish, sport class in the Tally race.
My money's on Juancho.

I also have to tell you that when I suited up to ride yesterday, and found my rear tire flat and myself tubeless, I wanted your head on a stick!

Anonymous said...

Mentioning Ultraman makes me yearn for the Space Giants... I loved the long, golden locks.

Juancho said...

Sorry Wrecking Ball, my plan is two-pronged: Get faster, make you get slower. That means no tubes for you.

Dogboy, shut it and get your mountain bike out of dry storage.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Big east loop = Alford climb + bucket loop + cadillac + tom brown + fern= 28 miles.....ass, meet Juancho's lips.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Soryy forgot the greenway...smoch up!

Juancho said...

Maybe I will focus on Cupcake for now.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I got the Tag-A-Long fused to my mtbke seatpost and slick tread on the rims. The skinny tire bike is rolling if the delRay thinks it can hang.

Ample said...

Ha HA! great post! I could feel the wave building :)