Dear Ass,
Prepare to be hauled-
Love, Juancho
I'm not saying it is going to be at any particular person's expense, or on any specific given day. I'm just saying that I am due for that breakout ride of the season. It probably will not happen in the course of a normal ride where, for instance, I bunny hop seven yards of brush and smilac to come around Mystery and race for the trail head at Cadillac. It could be that, but I think it is more likely that we will be miles and miles from home when confronted by some great emergency, like a small child trapped in a well, and everyone will say, "I'm just too tired to go get help. I couldn't possibly make it. The child will simply have to remain in that well until I have eaten a Gu."
I, however, can possibly make it and I will make it. I will save the little girl in the well!
The ride that follows will be legendary. I will receive the key to to the city of Miccosukee.
So that is one of my goals for the Summer, to save a well-trapped toddler with a heroic ride for help. What are you going to do this Summer? Lay around watching re-reruns of Ultraman?
As my mother used to say, "Turn that thing off and get outside!"
-Juancho
10 comments:
Would you settle for rescuing a middle aged mountain biker prone to spectacular crashes?
I might have to tie a line on and drag you to safety.
Normally I would take great fun in rebuking all your claims, but I have to say you have the hundred yard stare, and that look Rambo had (1st Blood)when he realized he would HAVE to fight. I predict a top ten finish, sport class in the Tally race.
My money's on Juancho.
I also have to tell you that when I suited up to ride yesterday, and found my rear tire flat and myself tubeless, I wanted your head on a stick!
Mentioning Ultraman makes me yearn for the Space Giants... I loved the long, golden locks.
Sorry Wrecking Ball, my plan is two-pronged: Get faster, make you get slower. That means no tubes for you.
Dogboy, shut it and get your mountain bike out of dry storage.
Big east loop = Alford climb + bucket loop + cadillac + tom brown + fern= 28 miles.....ass, meet Juancho's lips.
Soryy forgot the greenway...smoch up!
Maybe I will focus on Cupcake for now.
Sorry, I got the Tag-A-Long fused to my mtbke seatpost and slick tread on the rims. The skinny tire bike is rolling if the delRay thinks it can hang.
Ha HA! great post! I could feel the wave building :)
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